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The Halloween Costume Tragedy

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The Halloween Costume Tragedy

Udderly amazing.

Udderly amazing.

Kayla Perry

Udderly amazing.

Kayla Perry

Kayla Perry

Udderly amazing.

Kayla Perry, Writer

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Dear Makers of Halloween costumes everywhere,

First of all, what?

The predicted weather for Halloween this year has a low of 38 degrees. The high is around 70 during the day, which may be a little chilly, but overall, it’s a good temperature. However, when the sun sets and the streets flood with costumed children peddling for candy, temperatures drop like Newton’s apple.

With such low temperatures, people need to bundle up in order to avoid frostbite, loss of appendages, and tongues sticking to poles. However, makers of Halloween costumes, how is it possible to stay warm in costumes that don’t even come past the mid-thigh?

Wearing a costume with such little fabric requires me to either suffer the numbing cold or unattractively layer up leggings, socks, and turtlenecks. Absolutely no costume sacrifice would be required if only costumes actually covered bare arms, legs, and necks. If I want to be a nun for Halloween, I should be able to purchase a warm costume that actually looks like a nun habit rather than some barely-there costume that no nun on this earth would actually wear!

Please, please, please, PLEASE design and sell some costumes that willl actually permit me to venture outside and not feel like a Sphinx cat in Russia this Halloween.

Sincerely, a teenage girl who would like to wear an actual Halloween costume and not basically lingerie this year.

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The Halloween Costume Tragedy